After the Party
by Moment For Life
Summary: What happens when Rose left Jack on the deck after the party?


_"Everybody says the first cut if the deepest. It's so true. I don't know if it's because it's the best love, but it's the first that you remember. There is one boy that I will remember for the rest of my life, and I wouldn't go as far as to say, 'Oh I was in love with him and he broke my heart'. You hold on to that, just that first experience, it's good to have and you should appreciate it, even if it hurts." _  
><strong><em> ― Kristen Stewart<em>**

**_After the Party;_**

_Takes place after Rose left Jack outside on deck after the party..._

She stepped just inside the first class entrance. The long corridor lay out before her - the way back to her cabin. She had heard him call her name. Her heart soared in that moment. He called again and she felt her hands shake beyond her own control.

Her engagement ring sparkled; it seemed to scream that she belonged to Cal. It was a token of love, just of possession. Just as the Heart of the Ocean was.

She glanced at her hands as she laughed hysterically, her voice echoing in the long corridor. She fell against the wall. Tonight she felt alive, just as a girl her age should. Her insides ached to run back to him, to naively make some sort of mistake. He had called her name, she knew something inevitable would happen if she had returned to the deck. The curiosity was killing her.

Then she remembered just how powerful his stare had been. Her legs had almost buckled beneath her and no doubt he would have caught her. He had asked what she had wished for – but he already knew.

The chemistry between them had caused her entire body to tingle as they had danced; his fingers against her bare skin had awoken feelings which she had never experienced before. It was as though he had touched every nerve in her body setting it alight wholly.

It had been as though there were the only two people in the room. She had felt the sinking of her stomach as they knew that as the large clock had struck midnight, they would have to leave the party. Cinderella had gone home and the magic would stop. Her own world with the rules and restrictions, the reality where she had lived for seventeen years and the place where more so over the twenty four hours of meeting Jack Dawson, she had hated it more.

She had tried to prolong it for as long as possible but the way he had looked at her in that last moment was when she had felt the intensity of everything. She had allowed herself to take a few seconds to see what happened. She had wanted him to kiss her. For his soft lips to melt against hers and cause her aching for him to disappear. Those few seconds of not knowing, of feeling the build up inside of her and the rush of adrenaline killed her. She had said goodnight and walked away to weak to linger a moment more, too afraid of what to do he had learnt forward to kiss her. The last moment had been a long, lingering hopeful one. But then what would happen?

She kicked herself mentally as she rolled her head against the wall. She placed her hands flat against it, feeling how cool it was. Her chest rose and fell, her heart beating so quickly she was dizzy. She thought over the night, each small moment and second which had led to her falling apart right here and now in the corridor. She felt as though she was going insane. Is this what love should do to you?

She felt just how dry her mouth was and realised she had not sipped water since lunch. The liquor from the evening causing her to feel dehydrated. It had made her feel more alive, just as she had this afternoon as they had strolled on deck and spoke of his world. She needed to live in his world, just one more day. She longed to live so carefree, so wildly and so utterly away from her world. To take on a new identity and to explore every inch of the world.

She felt as though another physical being pulled her back out onto the deck, to scream Jack's name and to tell him all of her dreams, her fears and for him to kiss her as they would head to a new life in America. It told her to take a chance, as this chance would never come again. She had to take a risk. One which she knew should be taken for when she was old, laid in bed and her life flashed before her eyes. She would smile at this very moment.

The other voice restrained her and dragged her back to her cabin. Was this the voice of reason? Her own conscious telling her to not be stupid. To shut up, sit down and to go home. To forget the evening of rebellion and call it a phase of silly naivety which should be laid to rest. She had a family, a Mother who heavily relied on her, a fiancé who doted on her and five hundred members of Philadelphia society preparing to attend her wedding in just a month's time.

The tightening around her neck seemed to grow tighter and tighter like a noose. Why had she felt attached to Jack? Was he her way out. Was that the only reason? For there was something about him which made her feel calm, at ease and yet so utterly nervous. He had saved her life. He had made her see the good in what she had believed to be a hapless situation. Perhaps there was hope and would be in the marriage. One day she may love him and have Jack to thank for that. For saving her life and making her believe that life would always have good in it, you just need to take some time away to see that.

Did she need to stand back and look at her life from another stance? She closed her eyes. Her breathing slowed down. Calm overcame her. Only time would tell. She had been stood her for some time now and surely Jack would be back to him own bunk. She wished she had known what had been going through his mind, why he had called for her?

She would never find out. The moment had passed. She would do nothing except wait. Perhaps she would see him again, perhaps she wouldn't.

There was hope.

She collected herself and began a slow and hesitant walk back to her stateroom. She was quiet so that her heels didn't clack against the floor. She could still smell the fresh paint; it seemed to waken her and her eyes stung. She didn't know if it was the fumes or the fact that she knew she had wasted such a perfect opportunity to change her life or at least attempt to.

Perhaps she would have looked a fool but at least she would have tried. Now she would have to live with herself knowing she didn't act on impulse even when she was riveted with fear.

When she was old she would remember the naivety within, the innocence in the air and how she had judged Jack Dawson so much on the first single glance. She thought he would be trouble but perhaps that was her.

She lingered outside her stateroom for a second or two. She glanced down the corridor where she had walked and how minutes before she had been falling apart.

She took a deep breathing as her hand rested on the door knob. Then she disappeared inside. She didn't sleep that night, her mind remained with Jack. As it always would.


End file.
